you better accept me..

I have won seven Nobel Peace Prizes. Been knowen to sing wild Jaguars to sleep. Frequently I backstroke across the Pacific Ocean. I pee the cure to cancer. Can do 500 chin-ups in 13.56 minutes. People have seen me wrestle wild grizzly bears and fall trees with a stare. Whenever I am bored I hand craft sea vessles. My tricepts make old men cry. I have ate lunch in Argentina and Greece in one day. Women wash their clothes on my abs. Sometimes I chew food with my eye lids. I speak French in Russia. One time I had a akward moment just to see how it felt. Also I have saved children numerous times from burining buildings. However when the Pope was giving me a rub down he asked "have you ever been to college?" It then occured to me I have never been to college. So please for the Pope's sake accept me into college.

saturday morning man

Saturday moring, a nock at the door. I looked through the window and my eyes came upon a man who was wearing a suite with a hat and a smoke hung from his mouth. When I opened the door this man seemed to have a permanent frown on his face. From his face a nose arised like that of a moose's nose after being run over. The ears on this man were not any better. They resembled a loosly tied tarp on a windy day. Wrinkles heavily violated his face. Also his eyebrows were like a ungroomed ski run. As I finished observing his face he asked "would you like to subscribe to watchtower"?

young and in love

As I was driving over to pick up my date, I was as nervous as a cat with a three foot long tail in a room full of old ladies on rocking chairs. For it was my first date with this girl who had eyes that could light up a room and the body of a godess. We were going to go out for dinner to have some food for thought, this particular resturant was the best thing sence sliced bread. At dinner I presented my date with a diamond because diamonds are a girls best friend. She was happy as a clam to get that diamond. After dinner we then went for a romantic horse back ride down the beach. No one was on the beach and the sun was setting over the ever expanding ocean. I really wanted to kiss her lips, they were as red as a cherry. I went in for the kiss and and realized she had a kiss sweeter than wine. It was getting dark out so I thought I would take my date home because home is where the heart is. I got another kiss at the door and it just rocked my world. Suddenly I woke up and realized it was all a dream.

Super powers are really cool!! But if I could have one it would be the ablility to teleport. Just imagine if you could be like "hey I want to go to Ukraine today" and be there in only seconds. If I did somthing bad I could just teleport away. I would not have to buy a car or airplane tickets. I could go watch the canucks loose to everyone and not have to buy a ticket! Also helping children in africa by teleporting teddy bears to them would be one of my top priorities. When I was a kid in the ghetto of the bronx I wanted to be able to teleport because things were rough. So if I could teleport now it would be cool beans. Thanks for reading friends!