#6 Dave Cooks the Turkey

Stuart Mclean's writes a humorous story called Dave Cooks the Turkey, this story is about Dave getting the job to cook his family's Christmas turkey dinner. The funny way Dave does this is told throughout the story. The main technique Mclean uses in his story to create humor is the ability of the reader to relate to the comical situations in the story. Dave and his wife Morley start arguing because Morely is stressing about Christmas and Dave is playing down its seriousness. Which then progresses into the two sleeping in separate rooms and not talking to eachother. Every family knows that parents usually start arguing about something that is really stupid so that situation everyone laughs at. Dave is in bed on Christmas eve when he realizes after Morley asks him if he took the turkey out of the freezer that he did not even get a turkey yet. So Dave must go out at the last minute in the middle of the night to go get a turkey. Many men can relate to this as most of the time men are not prepared for Christmas and often forget and have to do things at the last minute. Dave does get the turkey and the next day he attempts to cook it. Morley however set a timer on the stove and Dave doesn't know how to turn it off so he cant cook the turkey at home. He realizes he is in trouble so he grabs a bottle of scotch and has a drink. Again another easily relateable subject for the readers. When most people are stressed out they will have a drink to calm down. Just the bizarre situation of Dave's dilemma makes it even more funny when he grabs a drink.

#5

I believe that P.E should not be manditory in grades 11 and 12. Students in thier senior years are mature and responsible and should be able to choose what they want to do. By forcing students to take classes it does not prepare them for the real world where they have to make their own choices. If all students are forced to take it then the class wouldent be good. Some of the students that dont want to be there would bring the class down. Gym class should be for the people who want to be there and it is not fair to make students that dont want to do it, take the class.

#5

I believe that P.E should be mandatory in grades 11 and 12. With all this talk about how the world is getting fat (especially the usa) why not get young adults into healthy habits of daily exercise? This would make people more likely to continue these activities when they leave school. The more healthy people are it is overall better for our society. If people had daily exercise every day it would cost way less for hospitals and clinics. The mood of people would be better because healthy people are happy! And by starting to teach people to do this at a younger age it will stick with them for years to come.

you better accept me..

I have won seven Nobel Peace Prizes. Been knowen to sing wild Jaguars to sleep. Frequently I backstroke across the Pacific Ocean. I pee the cure to cancer. Can do 500 chin-ups in 13.56 minutes. People have seen me wrestle wild grizzly bears and fall trees with a stare. Whenever I am bored I hand craft sea vessles. My tricepts make old men cry. I have ate lunch in Argentina and Greece in one day. Women wash their clothes on my abs. Sometimes I chew food with my eye lids. I speak French in Russia. One time I had a akward moment just to see how it felt. Also I have saved children numerous times from burining buildings. However when the Pope was giving me a rub down he asked "have you ever been to college?" It then occured to me I have never been to college. So please for the Pope's sake accept me into college.

saturday morning man

Saturday moring, a nock at the door. I looked through the window and my eyes came upon a man who was wearing a suite with a hat and a smoke hung from his mouth. When I opened the door this man seemed to have a permanent frown on his face. From his face a nose arised like that of a moose's nose after being run over. The ears on this man were not any better. They resembled a loosly tied tarp on a windy day. Wrinkles heavily violated his face. Also his eyebrows were like a ungroomed ski run. As I finished observing his face he asked "would you like to subscribe to watchtower"?

young and in love

As I was driving over to pick up my date, I was as nervous as a cat with a three foot long tail in a room full of old ladies on rocking chairs. For it was my first date with this girl who had eyes that could light up a room and the body of a godess. We were going to go out for dinner to have some food for thought, this particular resturant was the best thing sence sliced bread. At dinner I presented my date with a diamond because diamonds are a girls best friend. She was happy as a clam to get that diamond. After dinner we then went for a romantic horse back ride down the beach. No one was on the beach and the sun was setting over the ever expanding ocean. I really wanted to kiss her lips, they were as red as a cherry. I went in for the kiss and and realized she had a kiss sweeter than wine. It was getting dark out so I thought I would take my date home because home is where the heart is. I got another kiss at the door and it just rocked my world. Suddenly I woke up and realized it was all a dream.

Super powers are really cool!! But if I could have one it would be the ablility to teleport. Just imagine if you could be like "hey I want to go to Ukraine today" and be there in only seconds. If I did somthing bad I could just teleport away. I would not have to buy a car or airplane tickets. I could go watch the canucks loose to everyone and not have to buy a ticket! Also helping children in africa by teleporting teddy bears to them would be one of my top priorities. When I was a kid in the ghetto of the bronx I wanted to be able to teleport because things were rough. So if I could teleport now it would be cool beans. Thanks for reading friends!